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Barebacking: Sex Without a Net
Everyone knows about HIV. Everyone knows that it is incurable and deadly, and that the most common method of transmission for gay men is anal sex. And yet in the past two years, "barebacking"-having anal sex without a condom-has reemerged and to some extent been welcomed into gay men's sexual lexicon.
Unsafe at Any Speed
There's nothing new about gay men having unprotected sex. Statistics from
a 1997 study by the Centers for Disease Control shows that genital herpes
have doubled among whites in their 20s; one in five Americans over the age
of 12 is infected. Gonorrhea, genital warts, and the host of other sexual
transmitted diseases remain commonplace in the gay community, even among
those that consider themselves scrupulous when it comes to practicing safe
sex.
Craig Wenzl is the coordinator of the Man-to-Man Program, Monterey County's HIV outreach program for gay men. Wenzl noted that local gay men have started to ask about barebacking after reading noted authors such as Michaelangelo Signorile and Larry Kramer condemn the activism of Sex Panic, a group that advocates a return to the sexual freedom of the 1970s despite the risk.
Rushing Roulette
Jamie, a 38-year old, HIV- gay man in Monterey said that of the 60 sexual
contacts he had in 1997, six didn't ask him to put on a condom before anal
sex, and three didn't put one on before attempting to penetrate him until
he requested them.
Gay men have been taught by HIV educators to assume that all potential sex partners are HIV+, but the HIV status of a potential partner rarely comes up among gay men who are thinking of having sex.
The Paper conducted an informal survey of 20 sexually active gay men in Monterey. Of those surveyed, only one asked his partners about their HIV status, and then only if they "looked ill".
David is a 34 year old, HIV+ gay man living in Salinas, who like many HIV+ people looks completely healthy. "Being a sexually active male who is HIV+," said David, "I see quite a bit of responsible and irresponsible sexual behavior going on out there. "
When The Paper polled 10 HIV+ gay men last year, half of those who responded said that they regularly tell their partners their HIV status before having sex with them. For those that don't disclose their sero-status, it becomes a question of shared responsibility versus their level of commitment to a potential relationship. One-night stands aren't warned; dates are.
"The ascertainment of risk seems to be site-specific," said David, "Dating has its own set of norms, while another set seems to apply to baths, bookstores, and public sex in general."
Positive Attitudes
Barebacking isn't new to those already infected with HIV, who face the responsibility
of not spreading the virus every time they have sex.
For David, it became a question of increased intimacy with his HIV+ partner. "The decision to go barebacking with my partner," said David, "has everything to do with my HIV status, as is my choice of sexual partner."
While David's views don't reflect those of all HIV+ gay men, his acceptance of the associated health risks-STD infection or reinfection with a different and potentially more lethal strain of HIV-shows the level of responsibility some HIV+ gay men have adopted towards the containing the spread of the virus.
David is one of many HIV+ gay men who believe that their HIV-status allows the choice to bareback with other HIV+ men. "It was like we had finally reached a level of trust in the relationship," said David, "I knew he accepted responsibility for his own actions. The decision itself seemed to take the relationship to the next level of commitment."
The (Latex) Walls of Troy
For HIV- gay men or inexperienced gay men, however, linking unprotected
sex with increased intimacy can lead to disaster.
"Barebacking [among HIV- men] is akin to a sense of childish rebellion," said Jamie. "The attraction of danger and risk is sexy to some people who eroticize it. It's a morbid appeal."
Younger gay men are particularly susceptible. Since they often don't know anyone who is HIV+, they often ignore the potential danger because it remains foreign to them. "Younger people, people in their teens and twenties, don't realize how real the risk is." said Wenzl, who runs the Gay Teen Alliance (GTA). GTA is a social group for gay men and women under 25 years old. Part of the group's mission includes providing information on HIV.
Wenzl himself admits to having unsafe anal sex in his late teens and early twenties, which only stopped after his best friend tested HIV+. "I didn't realize it was 'real' so I only used a condom sometimes," said Wenzl. "But everything was safe sex after that."
Closeted gay men often find themselves in a similar predicament. Unable to reveal their sexual preference, they often choose to have anonymous sex. Similarly, out gay men have returned to bathhouses and sex clubs because of the freedom it allows from personal responsibility. No questions, no excuses, no guilt.
Answers for the Unquestioning
For HIV- men barebacking is an uncomfortable topic to discuss. "A lot
of people ask about anal sex, but don't say they're having unprotected anal
sex," said Wenzl. "People want to give the impression that they
safe, but they tend to understate their sexual activity. They have a reluctance
to say so just because a lot of people have had sex with someone that they
trusted but who later turned up positive."
Fear of condemnation for practicing unsafe sex from friends and the overwhelming fear of being infected with the virus must be balanced with their need for intimacy at whatever cost. Jamie admitted that, despite the number of sex partners he has every year, one of his greatest fears is catching a venereal disease.
Wenzl explained that he often runs into this behavior during his outreach efforts in the gay community. According to Wenzl, there are "risk-takers" and "risk-seekers". A risk-taker is someone who wants sex and is willing to chance infection in order to get sex. A risk-seekers is someone who desires the thrill involved in risk itself, not necessarily the sex; for them, risking HIV infection becomes the ultimate thrill. Reports of barebacking parties in San Francisco where HIV- gay men intentionally attempt to become infected have appeared in the Bay Area gay media.
The Anal Idyll
While all of those interviewed for this article had their own opinions about
barebacking, they did agree that within a closed relationship-one where
both partners were monogamous-barebacking has a place.
"[Using a condom] in a monogamous relationship does remove some of the potential closeness," said Jamie. "I don't see a problem with it among two HIV- men in a monogamous relationship for more than a year."
Wenzl, who is himself in a monogamous relationship with his lover of just over a year, said that if both partners in a monogamous relationship decided to have unprotected anal sex, they should both get an HIV test and repeat the test after six months, the "window period" for HIV antibodies to appear. Still, Wenzl made it clear that he recommends that everyone use a condom for anal sex no matter what the circumstances.
Driven
While the spectre of HIV in the gay community continues, gay men have not
forgotten that sex can be the most satisfying expression of care and love.
While some within the gay community may preach abstinence, others like David see things differently: "Stifling such a powerful drive in all of us only serves to repress the need, which will undoubtedly be expressed through irresponsible or destructive behavior. I chose to abstain from sex for three years, so I'm speaking with knowledge of the other side of the coin. I won't hide from sex, or from life. Each is to be embraced with intention and open arms. Expressing any emotion, or need, responsibly is for me the goal of all gay men."
For information on HIV, contact Craig Wenzl of the Man-to-Man Program at 408/772-8200. An extensive list of links to HIV/AIDS-related websites is available from Monterey's Gay Website (www.mbay.net/~wes/monterey/). Updated HIV information is also available in The Paper.